Today marks the official halfway point of my pregnancy. I can't believe that I'm this far along already! It doesn't seem like 16 weeks have passed since I was standing in my mom's kitchen staring dumbfounded at Jay, Claire, and my mom, holding a positive pregnancy test. It still hasn't sunk in completely - there are moments when I just think, omg, I'm pregnant - and it's half over already? I'm more excited about this baby than I've ever been for anything, but if feels like making a baby should be more...work, I guess. Now, I recognize that I've had an exceptionally easy first half, and maybe the work is really just beginning for me. But I don't know, it all seems very straightforward so far (crossed fingers that tomorrow doesn't give us some less straightforward info to deal with). I guess my point is that I can't believe how fast time is passing, and with my impending graduation I know this summer is going to be gone before I even realize it's started. October isn't very far away at all.

I went and picked up the co-sleeper this evening. It's pretty cute! It seems like a great size, and it's pretty easy to operate - Arm's Reach actually has online instructions with accompanying photos, not stick drawings. Very useful. Anyway, I think it's going to be good. It converts from the co-sleeper configuration (that is, with one side low that will abut the bed) to a bassinet (with the sides equal in height). Pretty nice, and I'm sure we'll use it in one configuration or another (hopefully with multiple babies). I took a couple of photos of it in the living room - when it's actually set up in October I'll try to remember to take some then, too.

I was cranking along all morning, and about an hour ago it all came to a screeching halt. I'm trying to enforce a no-baby-gear-surfing-before-7pm rule on myself because, really, the Internet is just too distracting. So I'm not looking for baby gear, but still surfing (or posting, currently)...maybe it should just be a no-internet-before-7pm rule! Why these rules, you ask? (Besides the obvious fact that I'm weak and a procrastinator!) Because I'm graduating in 9 weeks! That's right, it's official. I'm defending my thesis on July 31st. Woo-hoo! My thesis (in a relatively acceptable condition) needs to be given to my committee in - gulp! - 3 weeks, so I've been cranking away. Leo is in S. Korea for the week with part of it to read, and when he gets back there's going to be two more chapters awaiting his opinion. I'm almost done with the one I worked on all weekend (gotta love a long holiday weekend in the lab), so that's provided a lot of motivation to keep plugging away at it. Really, what is my problem? I love my project and I can speak pretty intelligently about it, so it shouldn't be such a big deal to write it all down. Here's the problem, in a nutshell: I hate writing. That's it, that's all there is to say. It is such a boring way to spend time, so I have serious issues staying focused on the task at hand. Now, in my defense, there is this pregnancy-induced absentmindedness that I keep reading about - maybe that's making things worse for me. All I know is that it's way more fun to think about the baby (and all of its [his/her? we'll find out soon!] stuff) than it is to think about the tedium of graduate school. However, the other thing that I know is I have to graduate on July 31st! My mom has a plane ticket, so that's all the motivation I need. Why oh why does there have to be this writing requirement at the very end of 6 years of schooling?!? AUGH! I'm just ready to move on with my life, but they just won't agree to give me the PhD without this thesis thing...

OK, so Aunt Carol and Claire have put in their two cents - anyone else out there have a guess? You'd better speak up quick, because there are only two more days now!

 

Oh, and Claire, what the heck are you doing already buying girl clothes?!?! Talk about putting the cart before the horse...

I was on Craig's List last night and saw that there were a couple of co-sleepers posted for sale, so I went back this morning to look at the ads again. I wasn't going to get one (I figure if there are three ads this weekend they'll come around again), but then my mom said, what, just get it. So, I emailed the first guy (the cheapest one), but he'd already sold it. So then I emailed another person, and lo and behold, tomorrow Jay and I will be the proud owners of a co-sleeper. Wow. It's the perfect thing, really - to get the product I want, brand new (their baby never slept in it), and for half the price. It doesn't get better than that. Besides, I think it really is the best option for us. There's no way the baby could be in our bed, but I really love the idea of having the baby right by us - i.e., no getting out of bed to get the crying child! Sounds good to me. Carmen has told me that she and Tyler were never comfortable feeding in bed, but even if that ends up being the case, I love the idea that the baby will be right there next to me, easily heard and easily viewed (in case I'm like Cathy and like to watch the baby breathe ). In case you're interested in the product, here's the link to check it out. Honestly I'm not sure what color ours is; it doesn't matter in the least bit to me, so I didn't even think to ask. How fun - our first piece of baby gear!

Here's my current belly...

Last weekend I thought I felt the baby moving after a couple of days of odd sensations. But then this week I wasn't sure that I was still feeling that same thing - or anything for that matter. Well, last night changed all that. When I laid down to go to sleep there was clearly something going on in my uterus, and I knew immediately that that 'something' was the baby rolling around. Yay! So then of course I couldn't fall asleep because I just wanted to monitor kiddo's movement.

 

Eventually I did fall asleep, but every morning between 5:30 and 6 I use the bathroom; this is typically after ~6 1/2 or 7 hours of sleep. Today was no exception, but when I got back into bed I could not fall asleep. It was 5:45 on a Sunday morning, but there was to be no sleeping in for me today. I stayed in bed for about 45 minutes before I gave up, and I just spent an hour and a half cleaning out our refrigerator (a few veggies has passed their prime), watering plants, dealing with mail, etc. It's always nice to be productive, but I know I'm going to be pooped later on.

 

I spent yesterday afternoon and evening in lab doing experiments. It was actually kind of nice to be there, and I got a lot done. I love my new wireless headset! I can leave my cell phone on the window sill to get the best reception, but I can wander around the lab doing work while I chat. Fabulous. So yesterday I talked to my mom while I transferred stocks - a mindless but necessary task (Tracey, do you miss that?). When I got the Bluetooth headset I thought it would mostly be a fun accessory, but it's really a lot easier to drive with it than with the wired headsets, and like I just mentioned, I don't even have to be very near my phone. Very cool.

 

So, today is calling for a trip to the grocery store and lots of time in lab. It's pretty yucky outside, so it's not like I have yard work or sun tempting me. Have a good day!

Jay and I went to one of the areas baby stores today - unfortunately all of the major ones are not in Seattle or even on the Eastside. So, we've decided to check out the stores one at a time over the course of a few weekends. It's not that we're actually buying anything yet, but it would be nice to know what's available out there when it comes time to actually make some purchases. So, anyway, today we went to USA Baby, and I'm glad that we went. There were a lot of cribs to look at, and of course there was bedding to see as well. We both got pretty excited about all of it, although the purchasing is going to prove to be overwhelming, I think.

 

We've pretty much decided to get a co-sleeper to start off when the baby is teeny tiny, so I'm not sure that we'll even have a crib around when the kiddo is born. Jay probably will prefer it if we do, but we'll see - we'll definitely have one picked out by then, but whether or not we actually own it is a different question. I've been pretty anti-glider in general, but then I sat in some nice ones today, and I think I might have changed my mind. Any opinions out there? So let's see...the crib, a glider (maybe), a dresser, a stroller, a carseat...that's just the tip of the iceberg, but those are the big purchases anyway. Financially it makes sense to spread things out as much as possible, so that's part of my reasoning behind holding off on the crib. Whatever we do, it'll work out, right? It's all so fun to think about.

 

Thursday is the big day! I was saying to Jay this morning that I've been so focused on finding out the kiddo's gender that I've kind of blocked out the more important aspect of the ultrasound: seeing the baby. It's going to be fantastic to see that things are all ok; you know, two arms, two legs, etc. We don't care what the sex of the baby is, but its health - definitely. Besides, it's always in the back of my mind that I've exposed my body to more than a few rather nasty chemicals during my life - it's part and parcel of scientific research. If I was older (thus more likely to have problems and also with longer chemical exposure) I would seriously consider getting an amnio done - I've heard of many women scientists that have this policy. Anyway, I'm going to be anxious to see that development is going well thus far. And, to top it off, we also get to find out the kiddo's sex - so fun!

I can't believe that at this time next week we'll know: boy or girl. It's so exciting. I almost wish that you didn't get to schedule appointments so far in advance because the anticipation is too much to bear! I'm still laying bets on a girl, but as Jay keeps saying, I'll love the baby just as much if it's a boy (as if there was any question!). So fun.

 

My friend Meghan graduated this afternoon and put up a picture of her last ultrasound during her thank you slides. That was pretty fun because most of the audience members didn't even know that she is pregnant! The ultrasound was super cute, too, and that got me excited (even more so than I already was). She's had 3 already - why, I have no idea - and she's 7 weeks behind me. Lucky stink.  I can't wait until we can see our little kiddo wiggling around in there. Anyway, Meghan gave a great talk, and I was so proud of her. I know I've said it before, but it's so nice to see my classmates all wrapping things up in such a timely fashion. I'm so happy for all of them.

 

Other than lots of thesis defenses, there's not much going on in my world. Things are pretty much the same as always, although for the first time today someone actually asked if I'm pregnant - I guess I'm actually showing now. Apparently my body is about to do some serious expanding, so I'm supposed to expect to be tired; well, I think the expansion is on because I am exhausted all the time again. Between the tiredness, the tight skin, and my aching uterus (also supposedly expected), I'm starting to feel some discomfort. As Carmen told Jay the other day, it's good for there to be some discomfort when you're pregnant - thanks, Carmen.

After thinking that a week had gone by with no new posts on anyone's spaces, yesterday I finally actually went to the pages to double check, and lo and behold, everyone had posted. So much fun to catch up on everyone's lives - especially Claire's. Here I was thinking she was being lazy, and in fact she wrote a ton in the last week! Stupid gleams...

 

I happened to drive by that stop sign last night and checked out the poppies while I was there. They look really healthy and happy, so I think I am going to steal them. They'll just be so cheery on our patio - besides, I'm sure they'll grow back at the stop sign location. That's what I'm going to tell myself at least. Now, the thing is this stop sign is close by, but it is a good 10min walk from home - should I carry my stolen weeds back home or should I drive to site of the extraction? Hmm...People might think I'm really weird walking down the sidewalk with a bunch of weeds in a plastic bag. Maybe I should use a opaque grocery bag, then noone will know what's in it! That's the answer. OK, I'll update you on the flowers once I've transplanted them.

 

Aunt Carol and my mom gave me info about the adjustable screens (thanks, ladies), but then Steve just told me that Fred Meyer carries them locally. I guess I'll be making a trip there this weekend, although I'm still not convinced that the cats won't just push them out of the window. Luckily it's still cool here, so the window hasn't been opened again to tempt anyone with a tail...

 

There's a big symposium going on here today, so I'm spending most of my day sitting in an auditorium listening to seminars. A friend of mine is graduating at 4, though, so I'm going to bail on the seminars at that time. Tonight Jay and I are having dinner with my Uncle Daniel at a yummy Mexican restaurant, so it's just a day without a whole lot of writing, I guess. *sigh*

So I've mentioned in the last couple of weeks that we don't have screen doors on either the front or back doors, and I've been getting more cautious about leaving the cats alone with the baby gate. Well, we also don't have screens on the two bedroom windows (the house is 100 years old, remember). The windows are a good 10-15 feet above the ground outside, and they are placed pretty high up on the wall. Jay's office window is open a lot; we have curtains on it, so that helps keep the bugs out. Well, Saturday night we were in his office scouting out real estate. The window was open and a breeze was blowing the curtains. I don't know if it was the curtains moving or what, but Cleo was suddenly very interested in the window. She started putting her paws up on the wall, peeking outside, etc. Not so good - to our knowledge they've never even noticed the window before. Well, because Cleo was doing this, Cory had to figure out what was going on (this whole time we're keeping a close eye on them). Now, remember, Cory is the one who is dying to go outside: he's nearly always sitting by a door, just hoping for it to open, I guess. So this morning Jay tells me that he was in his office last night and had opened the window for some air. He was alone in the room, and then suddenly he hears the sound of landing - Cory had walked into the room and immediately jumped up onto the sill! He must have been waiting for the opportunity since Saturday night, the punk. Cory's pretty skittish around Jay, so Jay was a little worried that he'd go out the window if he didn't get him down quick enough, so he says he just lunged at him and grabbed his tail to pull him in. I'm sure Cory panicked at that point, and if it wasn't so annoying I might just laugh to think about the scene. Jay says more than half of his body was outside of the window. Now what are we going to do?!?! My mom had told me about screens that you can use to sit in windows without screens, but I don't think they'll be very secure - if one of them jumps up there again I think the screen would just fall out if they pushed on it. Besides the fact that I can't find such screens...ugh, stupid cats!

Jay and I just finished watching the 24 finale, and whoa, it was a doozy. I won't give anything away, I promise. What a fantastic show this is that it can suck you in so completely. I can't believe we have to wait until January until a new season starts! Man oh man, that's all I'll say...

After our soaking wet winter we've had a really dry spring, so I'm happy that the rain is back. We had showers off and on all weekend, but today has been much wetter. I have no interest in watering our lawn (our water bill is too high as it is), but it was starting to look pretty stressed. Between weeks of dryness and last week's heat, it's not hard to understand, but it would be nice if the grass could be green for at least a little longer.

 

The rain today came with lower temps, so I had to figure out what the heck to wear this morning; since the weather has improved in the last couple of weeks I've been living in capris and skirts. Today I wanted to wear long pants, though, so I pulled out my last pair of jeans that can still be buttoned...and they no longer can. *sigh* I spent a little while last night removing essentially all of my non-maternity clothes from the closet because they're just giving me false hope every morning when I try to decide what to wear. My usable wardrobe right now is the smallest I can ever remember it being. It's certainly adequate, but it is a little funny to see so few items hanging. I'll be feeling a lot better about my options when the maternity pants that I have actually stay up on me without using the bella band. I have to say that, while the bella band has really made the transition easier, I'm much happier when I don't have it on. It's just something else to have to adjust. Anyway, maternity pants are just too big still, but once they fit I'll be great - Carmen gave me so many pairs of capris that I doubt I'll have to buy any bottoms at all for the rest  of the pregnancy. I did buy a pair of denim capris two weeks ago because I was feeling like I needed something that actually fits right now. They have a little drawstring built into the top of the panel, so even though they're a little big they don't need the bella band. Anyway, clothing is a little annoying right now.

 

The other thing that's annoying right now is my skin - it's so tight on my belly! I don't know if it's because I'm putting on more weight this month than in the past or if I've just passed the point of all previous weight gain (and therefore previous skin stretchiness), but I feel like a freaking drum. I'm also aware that this probably isn't going to improve at all for the next 4 months, so I'm just going to have to get used to it, huh? Angela gasped this morning when she saw me because she swears I'm an inch bigger than I was on Friday. Obviously that's not quite accurate, but I definitely seem to be growing at an accelerating rate.

 

I did a lot of work this weekend (boring but good), but I also managed to pick out a stroller (I think) online. Baby gear is way too tempting to look at online, that's all I have to say. It also turns out that overstock.com has a handful of crib bedding sets, and they sure are cute. I can't wait to find out what this kid is so that we can really start the process of organizing the gear purchases. There's certainly no rush right now, but it would be kind of nice to not spend all the money at once in September. We're also going to start looking for daycare - augh! Our goal is to be on waiting lists by the end of June. Carmen is in quite a pickle right now, so we're using her story for motivation (I'll explain later). There are just so many details...but it's so fun.

Yesterday I met Allison and Peter's surrogate mother - it was a great afternoon with the ladies. Peter took a few pictures - this one captures Christine's profile and my (much smaller) belly. As you can see, Christine is really pretty big at this point (in her 26th week) - 11 weeks from now (the expected delivery timeframe) the poor woman is going to be huge. Carmen and Tyler were there - Tyler is soooo cute and fun. 6 months is really an adorable age. The other woman in the picture is our friend Amy whose kids are a little older (her daughter is starting to babysit, and we joked that in the next year Amy will have to start bringing her along to handle the 4 little ones). Allison made a fantastic lunch, and we sat around and talked about babies and pregnancy for hours on end. Years ago my mom told me that this is what women end up doing, and it's funny to me that I'm now at that place in life. Peter was a good sport to listen to all of us. Allison, Carmen, and I have been good friends for years, and we are all a little stunned that our get togethers are going to go from the three of us to the three of us plus 4 small children by the end of the year. Things change fast, but it's great to have friends that are going through the same things in life.

What a great tv week it's been. 24 was terrific, as always (I can't wait for next week's finale!), the Survivor finale was Sunday, and then, of course, there was the 3 hour Grey's Anatomy finale. Fantastic. The Grey's Anatomy finale was really, really good. I watched the Monday segment live, i.e. I had to watch the commercials. Well, interestingly, there was an ad for Good Morning America Tuesday morning - they were going to show a scene that was cut from the show. So, I set up GMA to tape. The scene that was cut was short - probably 2 or 3 minutes, but I cannot believe that they cut it. So, for those of you that watch the show and didn't catch the cut scene, I've decided to relay it to you...

 

Finn and Meredith are in Finn's apartment, talking about Dog. Meredith asks Finn about Dog's pain, and in the course of his answer he called Dog "your dog." She interrupts and says, "mine and Derek's dog." The conversation continues, and again she corrects him and says, "he's Derek's dog too." Finn is clearly a little annoyed, and he makes a comment about how the two of them will have to really question what's going on if they decided to not euthanize Dog. Then he pauses and asks her if something is going on with Derek! He's clearly peeved/concerned and looking for a good answer. Of course her pager calls her away, so they don't have the conversation.

 

So that's the scene. The reason that I was so surprised that it was cut was that I didn't think it was ever clear whether or not Finn knew that things were weird between Derek and Meredith. You kind of had to assume that he had picked up on the vibe, but you just weren't sure, and that made the finale's ending all the more awkward feeling. Maybe that was the point of cutting the scene, but it was presented as a cut scene due to time constraints. Anyway, I thought it was interesting that they broadcast the scene the next morning.

 

There's not too much going on here. The weather has been stunning since the weekend, so that's been a terrific treat. We've had all of the house windows open (all those that actually do open, that is) for days on end, and it's great to wake up in the morning to fresh air. There aren't any windows that open in our living room, and we don't have a screen door on the front door so I've been using the baby gate. Cory jumped out on Monday, but was just kind of shocked that it worked and I got him back inside quickly. That does mean, though, that we can't leave the door open when we're not in the room with the cats. Oh well. Luckily that room faces east so only gets morning sun and doesn't get too warm. The kitchen bears the brunt of the afternoon sun, and I'm trying to decide if I should at least hang a valance on the sink window to block the sun for a little while later in the day. It's really blinding to stand at the sink in the afternoon. Oh well. The attic is a sauna already - man, it gets hot up there during the day. It cools off pretty well at night, but mid-afternoon, whew, it's rough. Definitely not nursery material after all.

 

Erin asked if I've felt the baby move yet, and the answer is no! I'm in my 19th week and I keep expecting it any day, but nope, not yet. Then I keep thinking, what if I miss it altogether? Maybe I'll just go from no feeling to feeling real kicks! How lame that would be. *lol* Of course I doubt that's actually possible, but come on already, baby, push a little harder! Both times I've heard the heartbeat the baby's been moving all over the place (to the point where Dr. Brandon said, you're going to have your hands full with this one), so I know it's moving around. I just need to be patient, I guess - I'll feel it moving when I feel it, right? Part of the problem is this whole 'fluttering' notion - what the heck does that mean? I can't even imagine what fluttering in my tummy would feel like, much less am I certain that I'll even notice it. I keep reading that most women think it's gas at first, so every time there's any twinge I think, ooh, was that it? Nope, not yet. The funniest part of my appt last week was when the doctor was telling me what it would feel like - this coming from my male doctor who certainly has no idea what it feels like! It was all I could do to not laugh in his face. *lol*

Wednesdays make me happy as they make the end of another gestational week in my pregnancy. Just think, two weeks from today I'll be halfway through already! That's really amazing to me because it's just flown by. I imagine that the second half is going to be slightly more challenging than the first half, what with the increasing discomfort and all. Maybe I'll be lucky like Carmen was and just sail through the entire thing with no problems.

 

More importantly than marking my halfway point, two weeks from tomorrow at this time I'll be having my ultrasound done!! We're so excited to find out if it's a boy or girl - I hope we're able to get a clear view of the important parts. I think we'd both be really disappointed if the technician couldn't get a good enough look to be "sure." There was a time when I was really thinking it was a boy (probably because everyone kept telling me that it was a boy!), but that's gone now and I'm pretty convinced that it's a girl. I, of course, will be happy with either sex, but I have to admit that I'd be a little more at ease if our first child is a girl. There's no changing what's done, though, so I guess I'll be at ease with a boy if I need to be!

 

Our friend Allison is expecting twin girls in August that are being carried by a surrogate. It's been a really difficult journey, and we're so excited for her and her husband that things are finally working out for them. The surrogate lives in LA and is coming up for the weekend, and a few of us girls are going to have lunch with them on Saturday. I can't wait to meet and see her! The last I heard she was measuring 30 weeks at 24 weeks! Poor thing. Anyway it's going to be great to meet her and also see my girlfriends to talk about babies.

One of the unplanned but fun things that happened this weekend is that I got a new cell phone. I've been a Verizon customer since the fall of 2000 and have been very happy with my service - until we moved into the house last year. I have almost no reception at the house - it's just enough to answer the phone, begin a conversation, and then have the call dropped 3 minutes later. It's been pretty frustrating, and I'm finding that my long distance bill from our land line keeps creeping up each month. My Verizon contract expires at the end of the month, and the plan was to switch to Cingular at that point in time (when Jay had Cingular service he never had reception issues). We happened to be near a Cingular store on Sunday and we'd each heard all these ads for a Mother's Day promotion on the pink Razr, so we decided to stop in. A little while later, I walked out with a new (adorable!) phone. Because my contract isn't expired yet Cingular gave me a temporary number - once I terminate my Verizon contract I'll move my old number to my new phone. So cool! The timing was pretty good too because I misplaced my old phone on Saturday, so it didn't hurt to have a new one. I found the old phone last night, though, so now I'm carrying around two phones - talk about excessive! With my new cute pink phone I got a cute pink bluetooth headset for use in the car, and I have to say that I love the pinkness of these gadgets. It's so much more fun than just the standard silver or black. It also seems that I have great service with my new phone - I called my dad and talked to Linda for a few minutes Sunday evening with no static, no issues at all. Then yesterday my mom called while I was in lab and I was able to sit at my desk and talk - unheard of with my old phone.

OK, so last week I mentioned gleams in one of my posts and that caused a ruckus. So, let me explain the beauty of the MSN experience...

 

MSN Messenger is an instant messaging client which allows you to chat in real time with your contacts or "buddies." When Spaces launched in '04 they built in some interoperability so that you can tell when a buddy has updated his/her space because a "gleam" appears next to their name in Messenger. This gleam can be resolved by clicking on the appropriate buddy icon - this reveals the buddy's "contact card," and from there you can go straight to the buddy's space. Make sense? So, on a day to day basis I scan Messenger for new gleams - especially from Tracey, Claire, and my Aunt Carol. This allows to me to know when they've updated their spaces without constantly loading the page to check for myself (and being disappointed when they haven't). It's a very handy little feature. I've posted a couple of screenshots of Messenger with a gleam and then with the contact card revealed. If this all sounds pretty compelling, go to the Messenger download page to download the client. All it takes to add a buddy is knowing that person's email address - the other person also needs to be on Messenger for any of this to work.