On Saturday morning, October 7^th, I woke up and just felt so strange. My back hurt – not horribly, but it hurt – and my belly just seemed...weird, I can’t think of a better way to say it. After about an hour of talking with Jay and looking at books about early labor signs we decided that I must be in labor. We were a little stunned because it was 11 days before my due date, and we weren’t really ready for Kate to arrive yet. Jay got a couple of things done around the house, but unfortunately my back labor kept me from being very useful. I started timing contractions around 10am, and they were already pretty regular in length and spacing. I spent a lot of time on my hands and knees in an attempt to alleviate the back pain, although it really didn’t help much. We left the house around 3:00, still not completely sure that I was really in labor (although it seemed that way) – just before I got in the car, I vomited. That, I thought, was definitely an indication of labor!

When my nurse, Jeanette, checked me at the hospital I was 5cm dilated, and I was SO glad. We’d been timing contractions for about 5 hours, so I was really relieved to know that this was for real and that I had already made some significant progress. Unfortunately my back pain continued, and nothing I did seemed to help it, so I just dealt with it. My mom had told me a few weeks earlier that the good thing about labor is that in between contractions “you feel like yourself,” tired but pretty normal. Not so with back labor! The end of a contraction did not mean the end of the pain. After being given the antibiotics for my strep B and having the initial fetal monitoring done, I went into the whirlpool for about 30 minutes. It felt good, but not quite like others had described it to me. Again, I think it was the back pain that got in the way – I was actually in the water on my hands and knees for a little while. It was just really hard to get comfortable.

On the way back to my room I decided to walk around a little. I had mostly been resting in a reclined position, but I knew that gravity would help me out. I walked around the nurses’ station a few times, and with every contraction would lean against a wall. Seeing this, one of the nurses said, “I think you’re progressing” – that was such nice positive reinforcement! I had been moaning for hours at this point – I was not quiet in labor! I went back to the bed because no other position was more comfortable (and many were worse), so why not save my energy by lying back? I labored for awhile longer, and Jay really helped me concentrate on my breathing. Eventually our labor nurse suggested that I breathe more shallowly, so we moved to light breathing. I was dilating well but there was one lip that was causing problems with Kate’s descent. Jeanette had me get on all fours on the bed, and she pushed on the lip during each of my contractions in an attempt to get my cervix evened out – that wasn’t very fun.

When I went into transition I had an incredible (and horrendous) urge to push, but I was only 7cm. It was all I could do to not push with each contraction, and I think it was only because Jeanette kept saying, “You cannot push yet!” that I was able to will myself to not push. This, for me, was definitely the worst part of my labor. I felt like my body was in spasms as I panted and blew out, trying to not push. That period seemed to last forever, and I’m sure that’s the part of my labor that I’ll never forget. Eventually I was fully dilated, and I started pushing at 8:45pm. Dr. Brandon arrived around 9:15, and then things really got going.

Pushing was exhausting! I think it was sometime between 9:45 and 10 that things got a little more complicated. Kate’s heartrate wasn’t returning to normal between every contraction – it would stay low a few times in a row, but then between the next few contractions it would recover just fine. This pattern continued: bad a few times, good a few times. Each time, before the switch to the good recovery, Dr. Brandon would start saying that he was getting worried. After this cycle repeated a dozen times or so, he finally decided that enough was enough, and told me that he wanted to use the vacuum extractor to help her out. The idea was scary, but I trusted him and was so relieved that he wasn’t talking about a C-section. In the back of my mind, though, I thought I was destined for a C-section because I’ve only heard one – unsuccessful – story of the use of the vacuum extractor. Getting the vacuum cap in place was extremely painful, and that’s when I started whining, “ow, ow, ow” over and over. Luckily it was almost over. Once he started to guide Kate out with the vacuum it was just a handful of pushes until her head was born. Although there were only a few pushes, they were the most painful as she crowned – that whole ‘ring of fire’ phrase is right on the money!

Apparently, once her head was born things got scary, although I wasn’t aware of any problems. My bag of waters had broken at some point after I got out of the whirlpool, but I (and the nurses) had no idea when because no fluid had leaked out; it was just noticed at some point that the bag was gone, and we knew it had been there before I went in the whirlpool. When Kate’s head was born a large amount of amniotic fluid came out, and there was a lot of meconium in it. No one told me this, though, and I actually heard nurses at the door saying something about a woman and meconium – I had no idea they were referring to me, and actually felt bad for that poor other woman with the complications! They were rushing nurses to our room, although I somehow didn’t notice this. When Kate was born (at 10:14) she was blue (it was obvious even in the dimly lit room) and silent. I’ll never forget the sight of her being brought from me to the ‘just in case’ set up after Jay cut her umbilical cord. Until I saw her, I didn’t know that she wasn’t doing very well. Dr. Brandon was very reassuring, saying she just needed a little help. For some reason I still don’t understand, it wasn’t scary to me. I guess I just believed him – and I was exhausted from pushing her out for an hour and a half.

The nurses put the oxygen mask on her right away and she pinked right up within seconds, so we knew she was breathing ok. A team of 3 nurses spent a lot of time with her, though, because she had aspirated the meconium below her vocal cords (a fact I found out shortly after they started suctioning her). A lot of suctioning was done and oxygen was being given, and she didn’t make any real cry for about 10 minutes. Her Apgar scores were 2, 4, and 8 at 1, 5, and 10 minutes. While all of that activity was going on with her I was pretty preoccupied with myself because my body just felt so strange. I birthed the placenta easily, and I was lucky to not need any sutures. After Kate was doing much better one nurse remained with her because her heartrate was really high and not dropping to within the normal range. After a half hour of work, the nurse thought that maybe Kate would do better if I held her (for the first time, at 10:45).

What a sweet little thing she was! She kept smacking her lips in the funniest way. Her heartrate didn’t really drop for another 24 hours, but she did fine. She didn’t want to nurse right away, but that was ok with me because I just wanted to look at her little face. It’s an astonishing thing to hold an infant that you just birthed – I’m sure there’s nothing else quite like it. Kate didn’t sleep much that first night (so neither did I), but she nursed well and cuddled with me (oh, and I guess she cried a bit, too). The next morning was so special, seeing her in the light of day for the first time. It was still just shocking (and thrilling) to not be pregnant anymore and to have this beautiful baby...I was so happy that she was finally here to hold and healthy but also proud of myself for coping with the pain and stress of the day before.